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Friend or Lover References: A New Approach to Personal Relationships

In the corporate world, references are key to understanding a candidate's character and fit for a company. In our personal lives, we informally vet new acquaintances through mutual connections, shared activities, and backgrounds. What if we formalized this process?


Imagine an app or program to evaluate potential friends and partners, saving energy by focusing on high Return on Energy (ROE) relationships. Here’s how it could work:


  1. Mutual Connections: Assess the quality of shared relationships.
  2. Common Interests: Analyze shared activities and hobbies.
  3. Geographical Compatibility: Consider proximity and its impact.
  4. Character References: Gather insights from trusted individuals.

This approach extends to romantic relationships, helping to identify compatibility and reduce emotional investment in incompatible partners. By formalizing the vetting process, we can ensure our social and romantic circles are filled with individuals who positively contribute to our lives.


Applying a corporate-style reference system to personal relationships could enhance well-being and life satisfaction by fostering more fulfilling connections. It’s time to consider Friend or Lover References as a new standard in managing personal relationships.